Admiral-General Nathan Hill, Elite Defender Prime and commander of the Republic's forces along the border with the Democratic Unified Planets, adjusted his hat. Twenty three years ago, he reflected, I was afraid this place would be my prison. I suppose I was right.
Over-Captain Nathan Hill, commanding officer of Ellisand Base- and, therefore, planet Ellisand- was unhappy. There were many reasons for this, reasons he dealt with or ignored to the best of his ability. But he could not ignore the letter on his desk. It was addressed to the Governor General of Planet Ellisand, Duly Appointed Overseer of Matters Civilian and Military, Arbiter of Justice and Shield of the People of the Glorious Unified Republic of Allied Systems, Major Nathan Hill. It was unopened. It mocked him. He pushed a button. "Miss Sorel? Send in the messenger."
Still here? Bully. Now, having established this Universal Law Concerning Everything's Remarkable Shittiness, we can move onto another, fundamental, truth.
The universe is a lazy son of a bitch.
Perfect. Now that THAT'S settled, we can get started. I suggest you hold on to your hats- they are precious, and you do not want to lose them.